“Kay Nou=Our House.” My Bully. N.p., 27 Oct. 2010. Web. 19 Apr. 2012. <http://kaynou.wordpress.com/2010/10/27/my-bully/>.
Most people would think that bullies are usually ones with low self-esteem. While a lot of bullies are bullied at home or school themselves, a lot of bullies have high self-esteem. They have a sense of entitlement and superiority over others and lack compassion, impulse control and social skills. They enjoy being cruel to others and usually use bullying as a stress reliever, but instead of punching a pillow, they might punch a person.
People are not born as bullies, obviously, but certain genetic traits are often present. Some children will naturally have more aggressive, dominating and/or impulsive behavior. Children that have Attention Deficit Disorder (ADHD) are more likely to become bullies. Although this may be true, that does not mean that a child will automatically become a bully. Bullying is a learned behavior, not a character trait and are very able to learn different ways to curb their anger.
Researchers have not been able to find a link between bullies and a particular race, religion, income level, divorce, or any other socio-economic factor. Girls are just as likely and boys are to verbally abuse others, but boys are more likely to physically harm another.
According to Dr. Peter Sheras, 40% of bullies themselves are bullied at home or at school. The reason may be that when a bully watches another child appear weak and cowering, it disturbs him because it reminds him of his own vulnerability and behavior at home.
Parents cannot be blamed for a child being a bully, but they may play a part. A bully's parents may be permissive and unable to set limits on their child's behavior. The bully is able to do what they want from an early age. Their parent's may have been abused when they were children and view disciplinary measures as a form of child abuse. This may have worked with an easy-going older sibling, but not with the more aggressive child.
A bully's parents may discipline inconsistently. If the parent's are in a good mood, the child will get away with bad behavior and if the parents are in a bad mood, then they may take it out in angry outbursts against the child causing them to never internalize rules of conduct or respect for authority.
Lastly, a bully has not learned empathy or compassion. Parents of bullies often have prejudices based on race, sex, wealth and achievement. Their child must always be the best, no matter what and the others must be kept in an inferior position. A University of Chicago study suggested that bullies watch more aggression on television and in family interactions. Aggression is rewarded and respected, and humiliating others is tolerated, leaving compassion and empathy seem like weaknesses.
“What Causes Bullies?” By Parents for Parents. CRC Health Group, n.d. Web. 23 Apr. 2012. <http://www.byparents-forparents.com/causesbullies.html>.
